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April 29th, 2005
10:16 pm - Coming Out
OK,
So after a long time without blogging, I've decided to end Major Rook as an identity, and pick up with a non-anonymous blog. My motivation is really that I want to have a blog which my parents and sisters can point to. However, someone close to me does not want their family reading their blog. So I'm putting a bit of distance.
My new blog is the same username as my email address: i.e. jhk1m, approximately. Sorry for the inconvenience. And remember when commenting on the new blog not to mention or point to badger as badger.
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March 17th, 2005
07:50 pm - Knu+epunk+ Report and Pictures
Hey,
So since I talked about it here and all, I should throw in the links to my report and stuff. The report is very long and rambling, but covers the whole thing in detail.
Convention Report
Pictures!!!
In short, a good time was had by all. Personal note is that pondering going with badger and moomin to the one next year.
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March 3rd, 2005
03:08 am - Back from Norway
Whew!
Well, I had loads of fun from my time there, and met a lot of great people, and had my horizons expanded about what role-playing is. The overwhelming thing is that larps and to some degree other RPGs are much more mainstream in the Scandanavian countries. People just do them more, as opposed to the scene in the U.S. which Claus rudely (but accurately) described as more "freaks and geeks". Now, this isn't to say that Scandanavian larps aren't geeky. They are on the surface similar to American larps -- i.e. they commonly involve running around in the woods with foam swords and Tolkienesque names. But there was a very different feel wandering around Knu+epunk+ as around Dundr@con. The most basic thing would be to say that the participants were more fit and/or better looking; there was more drinking and dancing; and there were more women. And I'm inclined to think that counts for a whole lot. Appearances matter for self-image and self-confidence. There was also much more spirited and intelligent discussion of games, which I think is distinctly related.
I'm in the process of writing up a full report, but these reflections will definitely go into it.
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February 20th, 2005
08:43 am - Dundr@con and princeofcairo
So Friday night and yesterday I was at Dundr@con. Friday night I played in a "Parlor LARP" which was a sort of emotion/drama heavy murder mystery. Yesterday I played in a short Changeling game which had a related LARP, attended two seminars, and ran my Paranoi@ XP game -- Bi11 and Ted's Hein0us Missi0n.
Notably, I got to see ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) princeofcairo (K for short) for the first time in I think seven years. We used to be part of the same gaming circle in college at U of Chic@go (at first in 87-91), then had more peripheral contact when I was around during my PhD work (93-99). He still lives in the U of C neighborhood, and keeps up with more of the old gang. I basically only keep up with chrislehrich, though I've had occaisional meetings with others like 1ngrid. Actually, we weren't all that close at the time, and had a sort of below-the-surface rivalry. I guess it was over a couple things. For one, he's a dyed-in-wool conservative and I'm a pinko liberal -- so, for example, I played a superpowered American communist sympathizer in Cr@ig's Godgame. As I recall, I had to drop out of that, as did Rober+. Some time later, as I recall, K took over Rober+'s PC and went more right-wing with him. Anyhow, K never played in one of my games, and I only really played in one of his games (an Ars Magica campaign, though not the Ars Magica America one). Also we have an ex-gf in common, which always complicates things.
But he's a super-cool guy. I hung out with him for a while in the afternoon of Dundr@con. We caught up on times and stuff. He reminded me of a funny concept we had from the gaming circle of the time -- defining victory conditions for our lives. I've basically won -- i.e. got cool spouse and kid, keep up my games, have house, live in liberal pinko region with a well-paying and steady job. K's pretty close, being among a handful of top RPG writers, but (unsurprisingly for a writer) could use a little steadier income. He'd been a staff writer for a couple companies for a while, but is currently freelancing.
Anyhow, we chatted about what the future of RPGs would be, and the possibility of the "next big thing". I blathered about some of my ideas, even though he knows much more about the industry side of it. My feeling is that the current model of RPGs is hampered by difficult introduction. Recent gaming revolutions -- like collectible card games, the German boardgames, and clickable miniatures -- have all been come from really looking at the moment-to-moment process of play. So I said I didn't know what the next big thing would be, but my feeling is that it will look distinct in the time of play: i.e. how narration happens, how dice are rolled, what character sheets look like, etc. I mentioned LARP as a break like this -- which was not itself a revolution, although it definitely helped drive Whi+e Wo1f, in my opinion. I also felt that narrow focus RPGs would be where it happens: noting D&D (dungeon fantasy focus), Call of Cthulhu, and Ars Magica as examples. They have pretty narrow models of what PCs should be and/or what adventures should be like. This is in contrast to broad-focus games like GURPS and HERO. Mind you, I think GURPS and HERO both work and I like them. But they are difficult to support -- i.e. difficult to pick up and play.
However, to gainsay this, we went to the HERO games party, where they were all feeling good from selling out six or seven of their books, and were courting K to write some books for them the following year. So what do I know?
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February 17th, 2005
01:05 am - Leaving Soon
OK, have slightly panicky guilty feelings as I am preparing to leave for a week and a half -- both over leaving my wife and son, and cutting out from my work. On the other hand, I really haven't had over a full week's vacation in ages. Badger has had several solo outings (more than me). And my boss has just been on vacation for four weeks. So rationally I should just relax and look forward to it. But I guess I'm neurotic or something.
So this weekend I have my gaming convention, and then Monday I leave for N0rway. I expect to be pretty much completely offline there. Cell phone won't work (no GSM). Internet cafes will be unlikely given my event schedule. I'm planning to leave my laptop behind. Panic! But despite some trepidations, I look forward to this an awful lot. I'll report more when I return.
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February 14th, 2005
10:27 pm - Ong-Bak
So I just saw Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior with badger for Valentine's day. A lot of people have good things to say about the movie, and yet their are these subtle and not-so-subtle digs in at it. For example, Roger Ebert compares the star, Tony Jaa, to Jackie Chan and Buster Keaton. And yet he says at the end that he enjoyed it "as brainless but skillful action choreography".
I wonder. Would he call Buster Keaton "brainless action choreography"? I suspect not, because Buster Keaton movies are old and in black and white and thus "artistic". (Plus he's caucasian, of course.) No one reviews a Buster Keaton movie with lots of jabs about how the plot is so ridiculous.
Action choreography is most certainly not brainless. It doesn't just happen automatically because of someone's big muscles. Like ballet, there is a lot of physical conditioning which is required -- but there is also brainwork. There is lots of great analysis of Buster Keaton, and the photography which goes into it. But it only gets that acceptance years after the fact. You'll find, I'm sure, that the fat old movie reviewers of the time wrote it off and extolled some black-and-white drama which no one today has ever heard of.
Anyhow, about the movie. It is definitely derivative of Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, Bruce Lee, and Jackie Chan. However, it also incorporates these together into the context of Thailand. It is a story about urbanization. The country boy goes into Bangkok to recover the head of a Buddha stolen from his rural village. Like Modern Times, hijinks ensue with a chase through the crowded urban streets. This is entertaining action, but it is also commentary. The villain has a trach and speaks only through an artificial larynx -- we see him at one point smoking through the hole in the front of his throat.
The martial arts was great. The fights are cultural allegories, rather nationalistic and arguably racist. After one-punching "Big Bear", he fights first I think a mixed-race street thug. He then fights a frenetic but ultimately Japanese opponent named "Pearl Harbor". Then he faces a dirty fighting Caucasian named Mad Dog". Each of these symbolizes a sort of urban cultural influence, it seems to me. Pearl Harbor has a hyperactive video-game-like quality to his fighting. Mad Dog is alcoholic (his first action is to break a beer bottle over Ting's head from surprise), and desperately destroys everything in the building to fight unfairly against Ting. His final opponent (whom he fights twice) is a semi-traditional Burmese fighter, very similar in style to him, who injects himself with some enhancing drug. The contrast of the fights is interesting.
Something that some people seem to miss is that martial arts are, well, arts. The Muay Thai moves which Ting uses are distinctive and expressive. The film contrasts them with various opponents in the selected fights. They aren't arbitrary or just swinging fists. Now, you can certainly look at the moves and just be impressed that it looks cool. But that doesn't mean that it is "brainless". I think I'll need to watch the movie over again to get a better analysis of it, and I should probably read a bit about Muay Thai. So this isn't a real review of anything, but still, I recommend it.
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January 18th, 2005
05:07 pm - Knu+epunk+ 2005
So, I'm now settled on going to Oslo in late February for this role-playing convention, Knu+epunk+ 2005. Brief background: "Knu+epunk+" means "Nodal Point" in Norweigian. Nodal Point is a cross-Scandanavian LARP (Live-Action Role-Playing) convention, which rotates from year to year between Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Denmark. The common language of it is English. The Scandanavians have taken up role-playing in a serious way. For the past two years, they have published an academic-style book of theory and analysis articles which go with the convention. Some of them have done things gotten government art grants for role-playing events. In part, this is that government art grants are easier in mildly socialist European countries, and in part it is that role-playing is taken more seriously. I heard about this when someone published an adaptation of one of my RPG essays in the 2003 convention book. I was then offered to submit an essay for the 2004 book, which I did. It's the second entry in the book Beyond Role and Play, and is a publication credit of which I am proud.
My uninformed opinion is that the Scandanavians go a little nuts from their long winters, and develop enormously detailed and artistic games. But whatever the cause, they have these elaborate games which seems really neat.
The somewhat crazy thing is that this means that I'm going to Norway in February. A little nuts. Then again, I live in snowless coastal California, and have been to the South Pole, so maybe its appropriate. I booked my flight directly with Icelandair -- so I get to connect through Reyjavik. I considered stopping over for a while, but it seemed unfair. So instead, I joined the Icelandair frequent flyer program, and maybe in the future Badger and Moomin and I can all go on a vacation to Iceland. I know Badger is excited by the idea.
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04:22 pm - Unmanaged
Well,
My manager is now gone away on vacation for four weeks -- just after our group has gone through a major reorganization. I have to say, it feels good not to have him around -- and not in the sense of slacking off. Unfortunately, my sense is that there is tension over control. I'm fairly easygoing and willing to take direction, but I also have a big mouth and am pretty free with my opinions. So there is underlying tension over control.
While nuances may be in there, the basic result is that I tend to work well with people from the non-technical departments -- i.e. the product managers, QA testers, and so forth. I'm fine with implementing a plan which they come up with. However, I often seem to have clashes with fellow engineers. I actually prefer dealing with them and feel like they are more rational than the engineering managers and architects, who have irrational territorial politics.
I think a case in point was the deal with our wire1ess proxy. For a while in previous years, my department had been in charge of server-side wire1ess support, and basically we had little to show for it for a variety of historical reasons. Skipping over that for a moment, the result was that during 2004, we pushed to deploy a web service proxy server for our wireless. Basically, I made clear that there was no good reason for this extra server -- that the two things we wanted it to do could easily be handled by minor changes in existing servers. However, my manager pushed to deploy it because those other servers were handled by other departments and we wanted our foot in the door. The result was that we became a fifth wheel and the product guys had to deal with four different teams of developers, which made debugging a real mess. We added in months of work to what should have been just a month by another team. However, at this point I feel my manager is pretty defensive about this, and during my annual review pointed praised my proxy work and said it was an important accomplishment.
It's not really that terrible, but it's annoying and I guess it has been a cloud hanging over me because the air feels clearer now that I am temporarily unmanaged.
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December 31st, 2004
06:33 pm - Lost
I had a dream last night that I was back in college, at some vaguely U of Chicago-like place but bigger. And I had various classes, all of which were humanities or literature-like. It ended that I was trying to find my way back to my dorm room, but I couldn't find it -- it didn't seem to be where I left it, and I couldn't even remember exactly what it was like. I wandered around amidst shops, restaurants, and buildings looking for it, becoming increasingly confused. Then I woke up with that same lost feeling -- and had to spend a few seconds thinking "Where am I? What is this place?"
I should explain that one of the reasons I left academia was wanting to put roots down in a place of my choosing. Particularly in my field (high energy physics), pursuing an academic career meant several throws of the dice to see where my next position would be, finally settling once I get tenure-track. The dream reminded me that this was a big shift -- a question of sense of identity. Anyhow, I'm glad I don't feel lost.
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December 28th, 2004
12:29 am - Partied Up
Whew! So I survived Christmas. Went to Astronomer and Scream Queen's in the evening for Christmas Eve, stayed semi-late. Opened presents with Moomin and badger in the morning. Then went to Chefily's for dinner and stuff Christmas day, played Boggle and Carcassone. Then for the day after Christmas went to whump's for Boxing Day gaming party, where I played Munchkin Bites and Entdecker. Finally had a relatively relaxed stay-in rainy day today. It's back to work Tuesday morning, but I'm off Thursday and Friday. Random thoughts from the barrage:
- Experience with remote-control car renews my hatred of electronic noise-makers in toys.
- I should really introduce my director friend Rowlf to Scream Queen if I can just get him to visit up here as he keeps promising.
- Damn Chefily's pumpkin bread pudding was good.
- While there are conversations that interest me, I generally prefer a game to typical party small talk.
During my brief time off, I ponder a bit the struggles of job vs creativity a bit. So Rowlf is essentially broke at this point despite releasing two real feature movies in the past year. He tried to co-produce his own movie with an actress friend of his, which may in principle turn out to be a good deal for him -- but it takes a long time for it to pay off, and he has been living close to the edge, it seems. So he is making a living exclusively as a writer-director of feature films in Hollywood, which itself is something of a feat. But it seems like a hard life and he is alone in his apartment much of the time.
In contrast to this, I think of KT, whom badger has been chatting with a bit. She is apparently faced with corporate success at @pp1e and ponders her responsibilities and artistic freedom. As far as office politics go, I think debate is fine but I loath secrecy and secret maneuvering. Everything should be open and above-board in my opinion, including open disagreement and fights. There can be some nods to politeness, but people should be aware of what is going on. Now, on the other hand, I'm not hugely ambitious and maybe this isn't a great strategy, but I can't live with the hypocrisy of secret maneuvering. I make my feelings relatively clear about influencing the corporate culture at SmurfLink, but I don't proselytize or push my nose in where it isn't my job.
This has turned out a bit stream-of-consciousness. Basically, I see tradeoffs here which I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. And life as it is, is not so bad. So I'll try to help my friends and ponder small steps in changing things.
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December 18th, 2004
10:45 am - Adaptation and Translation
So on my usual hangout of The Forge, I discussed for a time adapting other literary works. The nominal topic was adapting worlds like Middle Earth for role-playing games, but it turned out to be more general than a role-playing discussion. I brought up a particular point about the 1939 film version of "The Wizard of Oz". What I said there was:
The Wizard of Oz film succeeded because it was willing to pervert the original to mean something distinctly different. I think it is respectful in a sense (I appreciate the opening, for example), but it also goes somewhere quite different. It radically rewrote the original to make the whole thing into a dream. This isn't a minor technicality.
In the original book, Dorothy was always in the right. She was the only point of color to the grey landscape of Uncle Henry's farm. The events of the book tested her devotion to her home. She went home not because it was safe and good -- it wasn't. It was a horrible horrible place. But it was a sign of her goodness that she wanted to help her Aunt and Uncle.
In the movie, the story is quite different. Dorothy deep down wants to go away from home and has to be taught a lesson to stay there (via her dream). Throughout the movie, changes are made to reinforce authority. Glinda watches over her from the beginning, and saves her from the poppies. Glinda could have sent her back at any time, but held off because Dorothy had to learn her lesson. The film constantly undercuts the populist sentiments of the original. For example, the munchkins are rewritten from being simple farmers into, well, freaks.
For those who haven't read the original book, in the original Glinda doesn't appear until nearly the end of the book. Neither does the Wicked Witch until Dorothy heads towards her from the Emerald City. So there are no authority figures looking over her through a crystal ball through the length of it. And it is not a dream -- it is a straight-out fairy tale. Anyhow, this has made me ponder more generally what I think about adaptation and translation. badger has a project called "Composi+e" which are a series of short books which each take a single poem and offer a dozen or so translation by different people.
My friend Chris, I think, believes in a definite sort of essence to a work. i.e. Any number of things can be changed, even radically, as long as the single essence of the original work remains. I don't think I believe in that. There are degrees of change. You can shift things like changing the setting but keeping the plot, or rewriting the plot but keeping the characters and setting, or various other options. I think if you are going to call something a "straight" translation or adaptation, then you are obliged to remain fairly close to the original. But things are going to have to change, and the result is always going to be in part your own new expression.
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01:05 am - Unsurprising Quizilla Result
J.R.R. Tolkien: Lord of the Rings. You are
entertaining and imaginative, creating whole
new worlds around yourself. Well loved, you
have a whole league of imitators, none of which
is quite as profound as you are. Stories and
songs give a spark of joy in the middle of your
eternal battle with the forces of evil.
Which literature classic are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I loved "The Hobbit" as a kid, but I tried Lord of the Rings more than once and never got through the first book, finding the long trudging through the wilderness interminable. I never read it until some time in grad school. Still, I respect it a great deal now. I think it also expresses a good deal about how I approach things. I like to put things neatly into my directories and sort and figure them out in creating something. This isn't the same as Tolkien's language-writing and map-making, but I can see similar tendencies. An interesting comparison was to compare with author M. John Harrison's diatribe against thinking of books as worlds. I would think Tolkien would disagree, since he was the obsessive sort who would draw up maps and other details of his world.
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December 6th, 2004
08:13 pm - RPG Meme Bandwagon
Matt Snyder recently posted this RPG Meme Bandwagon to his blog. It is a 15-question questionaire about your gaming experiences. I'm annoyed at the usage of "meme" here, but I was interested in other people's replies so I thought I should post my answers to be fair.
1. What is the first RPG you ever played?
I was vaguely exposed to D&D through my kindergarden friend Eric Thompson's older brother Brian. My memory of that is unclear. I think I didn't really play until 3rd grade when I got my hands on a D&D Basic Set and played with my new friends there. After a while, we switched to Champions which was the most influential RPG on me.
2. What RPG do you currently play most often?
The Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPG.
3. What is the best system you've played?
I guess I'd have to give the nod to the HERO System/Champions. Close seconds are homebrew, Ars Magica, BRP, and Buffy.
4. What is the best system you've run?
Here I'd also have to say HERO System/Champions.
5. Would you consider yourself an: Elitist/ Min-Maxer/ Rules Lawyer?
Min-Maxer. Certainly I will analyze and twist whatever system I encounter. On the other hand, some people consider this to mean someone who doesn't role-play. In contrast, I find that my min-maxed characters have terrific depth of personality.
6. If you could recommend a new RPG which would you recommend? Why?
It depends on your definition of "new", I guess. My current favorite is the Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPG, which is fairly new.
7. How often do you play?
Every week less some skips (two bi-weekly campaigns which usually alternate).
8. What sort of characters do you play? Leader? Follower? Comic Relief? Roll-Player/ Role-Player?
I vary pretty widely, but the most common trait is that they're a little screwy in the head.
9. What is your favorite Genre for RPGs?
Historical, alternate historical, or modern fantasy (i.e. Buffy et al).
10. What Genres have you played in?
Pretty much the range. Fantasy, children's fantasy, modern fantasy, sci-fi, western, cyberpunk, superhero, historical, martial arts, horror.
11. Do you prefer to play or GM? Do you do both?
I do both about equally, with a slight preference for playing.
12. Do you like religion in your games?
Yes. That is, I like varying religious points of view to be expressed among different characters, like having a Muslim officer in Star Trek or a christian maga in Ars Magica.
13. Do you have taboo subjects in your games or is everything "fair game"?
I guess I'm touchy about rape in games. Other than that, it's pretty open.
14. Have you developed your own RPG before?
Yes. I pretty regularly develop a homebrew or variant system for my games, but I've rarely put much effort in having them be readable outside the group I'm playing with.
15. Have you ever been published in the Gaming Industry? If so...what?
I was one of the three contributors to the HERO System fifth edition (2002), and thanked in the Fudge credits. However, both of these were nearly by accident. The first was from an essay submitted to the HERO game magazine in 1991. The second was from discussion on the rec.games.design newsgroup.
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11:53 am - Belated Thanksgiving Thoughts
Well,
Haven't blogged in a while. Then again, badger was worrying about blogging too much, so it's flip sides of the coin. Anyhow, the major recent event was my trip to New York (specifically Rock@w@y, on the beach south of Queens). I got to see my sisters, brothers-in-law, parents and their much-improved house since I last saw it, and nephews and niece. This time my family were all pretty positive about badger and moomin. The one who was getting flak was my brother-in-law K, who has been struggling to finish his PhD and is going many months past when he lost his full funding in June. My sister J is working 20 hours a week from home while dealing with two kids and seems to be terribly stressed out over it. My nephews are apparently having emotional problems which is probably related to such stress. I feel somewhat judgemental that making life comfortable should come ahead of academic pretensions. It certainly does for me.
The highlight of the trip for me was when my mother decided, while sitting at the table after dinner, that she was going to sing her song from her church choir for us. All of us kids naturally leapt over each other to stop her, but naturally there was no way it could be done. For those who don't know her, my mother can be pretty hilarious and yet also infuriating in her stubbornness. Her favorite characters include Lucy from Charlie Brown and Toad of Toad Hall from Wind in the Willows. Anyhow, here is the song which she sang -- which she actually sang at her church:
We know it is said that the Lord will come in His glory
to take us away to that mansion there in the sky.
When will He come?
When will He come, oh Lord?
Won't you tell us so we can be ready?
When will He come?
And then, it is said, ev'ry eye will see Him descending
to take us away to that mansion there in the sky.
Where will He come?
Where will He come, oh Lord?
Won't you tell us so we can cross over?
Where will He Come?
We know He will come, even if we don't understand it,
and take us away to that mansion there in the sky.
Why will He come?
Why will He come, oh Lord?
Won't you tell us so we can be happy?
won't you tell us so we can cross over?
Won't you tell us so we can be ready?
When will He come?
So, naturally by the time she was done with this, we were all laughing uproariously. She insisted that no one in her church seemed to get that this song was, well, amusing. I guess I believe her, although it's a little hard to swallow (if you'll forgive the allusion). Anyhow, it is a good characteristic story of my mother to picture her singing this in church with gusto and a little bit of an ironic twinkle in her eye.
I feel at times that I ought to do more for my family, as they're all good people and I like them, but at the same time I can't really be around them for too long before going a little nuts. More reflections on this later, I guess.
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November 16th, 2004
05:31 pm - Reflections on Moving Offices
Hmm. So I'm here in my new office at SmurfLink, which moved from downtown SJ to out by the airport. I've been working here now for three years. So in the move, our team appeared to get some degree of status for having handled the new voice over IP project. (Go see SmurfLink.net and go to /extras/onlinecalling/ ). Anyhow, so we got slightly larger cubes with a view of the airport, while the website team got no windows. Sort of annoying divisiveness, to my mind. Our old space was more egalitarian, only our EVP got a true office and that had no view. Our new space has much more of a hierarchy of spaces.
I had to clean out a lot of old papers while there, and found a lot of reminders of old projects which were almost all dropped. It was a few months into getting to SmurfLink when the rift with the other Exci+e engineers developed. There was a fairly disastrous history of SmurfLink's acquisition of 0mni5ky, where they effectively got rid of most of the employees of and then struggled futilely with the cumbersome software. That took basically a year. My one real "success" was the migration of our mail station, where I took a bloated system that ran on about a dozen machines and compacted it to run on 3. (It was originally intended with much more ambitious plans for number of customers, I think.) However, while it made money, that was dropped for future development as it wasn't a growing market.
So, in principle my career should have projects that I have lasting pride in. But then again, I was never really thrilled by my physics projects, either. I think I'm just not sufficiently ambitious in that way. But I'm doing fairly well and the work isn't that hard or onerous. Still, somewhat depressing to clean out a bunch of old papers which one now regards as junk.
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November 6th, 2004
01:00 pm - 2004 Election Results Cartogram
By the way, I thought I should post this since I had trouble finding one.
2004 Election Cartogram
It's a map of the election results which shows the states with areas proportional to their population, rather than their geographic size. Geographics maps of the election are rather deceptive because they show huge swaths of red from the midwestern and mountain states, which have very small populations.
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12:55 pm - Post-Election Depression/Thoughts
Well, like most everyone I know, I am pretty depressed about the election results. But it causes me to re-think my own priorities. I certainly felt rather shocked, in that I thought that Kerry was highly compelling. But in retrospect, and on hearing various people's analyses, I see problems in the Democrats approach.
A lot of people are indignant at the stupidity of people who voted for Bush, but really most people of either side aren't all that bright. This reminds me of engineers complaining about the stupidity of users -- which overwhelmingly means flaws in design. Badger forwarded to me a message from one of her mailing lists, giving advice on social change:
13. Take the moral issue head on. Stop arguing economics and argue morals. Say out loud, that the moral values we espouse are kindness, and love, and caring and looking after those who are actually alive. Go and get material on the Social Gospel. The left wing social Gospel -- creating the Kingdom of Heaven here on Earth -- dominated the political scene from 1865-1920 and it's been losing ground ever since to the "let's get people to the lifeboats before the rapture brigade". If you are a Christian, it's time to take back the Bible.
This reminded me of someone on the radio talking about Jimmy Carter, who complained that he was told that as an evangelical Christian he was out of place among the Democrats. While I am wary of evangelicals, I think the liberals like myself have to be able to communicate without condescension or paranoia with those who don't agree with us. In academia and in engineering, I find that if you explaining your point to someone who knows less doesn't just educate them -- it forces you to re-think your own points.
The current Republican party is rather an odd mix of the Christian right (who are, for example, anti-abortion) and the pro-big-business fiscal conservatives (i.e. anti-big-government, anti-taxes). These two ought to be at odds on many points. For example, fiscal conservatives generally want the government to butt out of people's lives, while the Christian right wants more laws to restrict or outlaw abortion. But the leadership has forged a strong alliance of sorts.
Anyhow, I think there are many moderates of both camps whom the Democrats could appeal to. And a lot of it does come down to principles, as the quote above suggests. I do think that the president does have a role in moral leadership as well practical matters. I don't have definite answers, but I think there is a sort of culture war going on -- where the big-business folks are successfully able to paint their opposition as somehow amoral. This isn't inevitable or natural, though, and I think that social liberals ought to be able to appeal on moral grounds. To do that, though, they can't just reject the religious as fools, or morally righteous as authoritarian.
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October 18th, 2004
10:47 am - Camping
So Mooming and I tried an experimental camping trip this weekend. Basically, I wanted to see if he was OK with sleeping outside in a tent. So badger and I went off to the nearest park which takes "family camping" (i.e. overnight camping by 8 people or less, as opposed to organized youth groups or day-camp). Badger wasn't up for sleeping on the ground, and we only had my small 2-person tent anyhow, so plan was she would come for an hour or two and then leave after it got dark. I wanted to be a short distance from home. So it was a Memoria1 Park, which was about 25 minutes drive over the mountain from us. We got there a little later than we wanted, around 5. Moomin had fallen asleep during the drive. It was $20 to camp, plus I got some firewood.
So we set up at this site. There were three other camping groups nearby (about 30-40 yards). The nearest group were a couple and their friend who were basically the same as us -- they were trying out camping with their 2-year old daughter. Moomin quickly got into the whole thing and was excited about sleeping in the tent and played enthusiastically on the redwood logs which were set around.
The key flaw was that he was afraid of the dark. Unfortunately, I had only brought a flashlight for light (i.e. no nightlight for in the tent). Immediately after it got dark out he wanted to go into the tent. However, our neighbors invited us over for smores. So with this as encouragement, he went out of the tent with the flashlight and we went over to talk. He played happily with the 2-year-old Ella, but he eventually rejected smores as too sticky and messy, though he gladly ate the chocolate. He was an excellent marshmallow toaster, though, with a steady hand keeping the marshmallow by the fire but not burning it.
After we went back, though, we eventually got ready for sleep. However, he insisted that we had to keep the flashlight on. We both eventually fell asleep then. Unfortunately, he woke up then in the middle of the night and was terrified of the dark. The flashlight had run down into a power-save mode, so it would work for short bursts but would fade in about 20 seconds. He cried and said he wanted to go in the car and go home, but I gamely tried to convince him that there wasn't anything to be afraid of in the dark. So I cuddled him for a while, but I found I had to basically continually talk or sing to him to reassure him, because even if he was touching me he would still call out "Daddy, are you there?" He also insisted on holding his fists to his eyes to "keep the dark out". So after a long time (I'm not sure how long, but it felt like at least an hour), he eventually went back to sleep. Unfortunately, it was raining in the morning, and he naturally wanted to go home. So we went home for breakfast at around 9.
Despite the dark thing and the rain in the morning, he seemed chipper and positive about camping in general. I told him we would definitely have a nightlight next time, and he seemed OK with the idea. He was tired and cranky and bratty in the afternoon the next day, which was understandable. I was, too.
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October 13th, 2004
12:56 am - Rest in Peace, 5wimmy
So today I told Moomin that his betta fish, which he had named "5wimmy", died. While it is just a fish, it seems like a big step to be confronted with mortality, and I knew that he would be really sad over it.
I knew about it Monday afternoon, but was stuck in indecision over what to do about it. After he went to bed last night, I talked about the situation with badger. I originally was for quietly removing it and hoping he'd forget about it, probably with some lying. However, she was for telling him and convinced me. I stuck with it even after she had misgivings. I planned to make a little grave for him in the garden. Moomin didn't exactly play with 5wimmy, but he had been enthusiastic about getting him and had named him and made a cool picture, and regularly commented on him.
I warned Moomin of the idea this morning, by telling him that 5wimmy was old and sick. (badger reminded me to mention the old part, to distinguish from young sick people who generally get better.) He was affected even by this in the car, saying "Ohhh. Poor 5wimmy!" I began to lose my nerve a little.
But when I picked him up in the afternoon, I dutifully came home, tokenly checked on 5wimmy, and then gave him the bad news, saying pretty straight that 5wimmy had died. Moomin instantly looked crestfallen and said "I don't have a fish anymore." Shortly thereafter, he began to really sob. Yikes! It was tough. So I took 5wimmy out with a spoon, put him on a napkin, and then in a little medicine box which badger had nicely laid out as a coffin. I said that 5wimmy had gone on in spirit to a better place, and that he was resting now. We went outside, and I got him to talk about where we should bury him, and then got the shovel and made a little grave by a big rosebush. I said 5wimmy would have liked to be by the pretty flowers. I was intent on keeping Moomin outside in the cheery sun. He cried for 20-something minutes, and had some juice and water. After that, I took him out to the grocery store with me, then ate dinner with him, and then made cookies with him. He is definitely recovered, but still had a sad moment as he noticed some stuff in the bathroom.
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October 11th, 2004
01:44 pm - Disappointments
So, the week in L.A. ended. I was pretty stunned at the lack of organization on the part of my manager. So the whole team of five people went down to attend this conference, at considerable expense. After the first day, Monday, we were going to meet at 4:30 or so to go on our offsite activity which was going to be paintba11. People don't show up immediately, and my boss seems unclear about the details, so I go up to my room to grab my car keys and a few more things. I check the place he said up on the web, and I see that it isn't open on weekdays. Apparently he had heard about this place from someone, and heard that they allow walk-on groups. But he didn't actually call them or look through their website.
So we cancel the evening's activity. My boss abandons the paintba11 plan, and instead takes another employees suggestion of jetskiing. I had heard that we were going to be taken out to dinner the next night, but it was early on changed to Wednesday night. Then in the afternoon on Wednesday, my boss says that there's a networking session of the conference at 6:30, and his wife is flying in at 8:30, which doesn't leave much time for dinner. So now the dinner is put off to Thursday. So finally, the plan is that we'll go jetskiing in the late afternoon Thursday followed by dinner. So we actually manage to make it out to the rental place, in Marin@ Del Rey by around 4:45. The whole harbor is shrouded in a thick fog, and we're pretty late to be renting and have to be back by 6:00. One coworker is there with his wife and baby, so he can't go jetskiing, so we make last minute plans at the rental place for him. So we go through a safety spiel and instructions, change, and then head out. When we make it out of the harbor (which has a 5MPH speed limit), the visibility is even worse -- maybe 30 yards. So we stay within sight of the harbor barrier and jet around a bit. Then after 15 -20 minutes it's time to head back, which is fine.
We are then taken out to the restaurant, which turns out to be El Torito. OK, so after a news-making launch of our product and as part of a many-thousand-dollar offsite, we go to a Mexican chain restaurant? Now, it is higher end than some and the food is fine, but still. Now, during this time, I've been going out every evening and hanging out with my friend Rowlf, staying out late and not worrying much about the conference. So actually I'm fine. But I'm appalled at the level of organization from my boss.
The real disappointment came after I got back on Friday and found out that I was turned down for the job at Druidsquirrel's company. After two interviews which both went pretty well, they said my background was "an imperfect fit to our current needs." Following up with "We're stretched thin along a number of lines, including management and system architecture, and until we can get those positions filled it's premature to slot you in." I'm not sure what that means exactly. It sounds a bit like they were considering me for a more senior slot but then backed off? Sigh. On the bright side, I'm hoping I will get a raise for the successful launch of my project for SmurfLink.
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